Vanilla, kink, gay, straight – if it’s out there Josey Vogels, author and nationally syndicated sex columnist, has written about it. For her fifth and latest book, Bedside Manners, Vogels shows why she is Canada’s most widely read sexpert. More merciful than Dan Savage and less acerbic than Sasha Van Bon Bon, two fellow columnists you won’t find advocating manners in or outside of the bedroom, Vogels has written her way to a national platform by being funny, frank, and conscientious.

Vogels advocates a soul-searching approach to sex. She believes that from the moment you start undressing someone with your eyes you need to think about how your sexual explorations will affect your psychological and physical well-being, not to mention that of the person(s) beside you. In other words, Know Thyself to better absorb the shocks.

Whether you’re confronting his piercings for the first time or finding yourself privy to her symphony of climactic noises, Vogels offers hilariously serious suggestions for surviving a wide range of naked truths. And as in her “My Messy Bedroom” column, Vogels uses personal anecdotes (her own and her readers) to make universal experiences more personal.

Helpful definitions of the latest toys and terms in straight and gay sex play also appear throughout the book. These are useful if you plan on going shopping with your mate and lifesaving if looking lost is not part of your seduction strategy. Regardless of where you are, two dates past the rudimentaries (insert A into B – not too difficult) or 10 years into a marriage and looking to mix things up, Vogels shows that there is an entire lifetime of sexual lessons to be learned, techniques to be sharpened, mistakes to be made, and unexpected situations to be navigated, all of which call for a certain mindfulness, grace, and, above all, a sense of humour.