Pioneering science fiction author and political activist Judith Merril was not one to mince words or follow convention, so it’s no surprise that she bluntly states in her introduction to Better to Have Loved that she has no interest in writing a typical autobiography. Dismissing the autobiographical efforts of many of her contemporaries as “lists of stories told, banquets attended, speeches given,” Merril lays down her modus operandi: “these are memoirs of my loves, and my most ardent loves have almost always been intertwined with the excitement of ideas.”

Better to Have Loved certainly adheres to the plan. Ideas were a driving force throughout Merril’s life, leading to her early love affairs with Zionism and socialism and infusing her scant but revolutionary output of science fiction writing. Merril was also a founding member of the now legendary Futurian Society, a group of left-leaning science fiction fans and writers whose membership included Frederik Pohl and Fritz Leiber.

The sections dealing with these early loves are the book’s strongest. Merril’s childhood recollections and frank sketches of the Futurian Society’s meetings and members, as well as her own struggles as a young mother and writer, are evocative and witty. The sense of intellectual exhilaration, of a young mind finding its perfect mate in the world of exchanged ideas, infuses the writing without ever blurring into nostalgia. Her memories are fleshed out with letters – both sent and received – and excerpts from her essays, fiction, and articles.

The sections chronicling her move to Toronto from the U.S. in the 1960s and her life thereafter are sketchy at times. Merril had stopped writing science fiction by then and began turning more of her attention toward putting her intellectual ideals into practice. She taught at Rochdale College, the University of Toronto’s infamous “free school,” and helped orient the scores of American draft dodgers pouring into the city. Perhaps the sketchiness of the later sections has something to do with Merril’s dwindling writing output, but one also gets the feeling that she was just too busy living and exploring to write everything down.

Merril died before completing the book, and the project was completed by her granddaughter, writer Emily Pohl-Weary. The intellectual fires never dwindle in Better to Have Loved, but it’s a shame that Merril wasn’t around longer to get more of them on paper.