Rachel Deutsch (Marie-Eve Rompre)

Rachel Deutsch had always wanted a baby, and she had a pragmatic approach to having one – find a partner, improve herself, and become a mother before she got “old.” Although seemingly simple, her new graphic memoir The Mother reveals how the common decision to become a parent can be much more fraught than we initially imagine.

Using a quirky and charming drawing style, Deutsch (perhaps best known for her illustrations for The New Yorker) takes us through the minutiae of her pre-baby dating life, presented as a cringe-worthy and comical set of auditions for the future role of father. Time marches forward and anxiety sets in, but at age 34, Deutsch meets Marc – warm and caring, good at cleaning and talking things through, and equally enthusiastic about having children.

The Mother differentiates itself from standard motherhood narratives early on by thoughtfully addressing how, for better or worse, the way we were parented can dictate the kind of parent we become. Deutsch gives us snapshots of her childhood, depicting her own mother’s anger and subsequent long silences (“I slunk around, nervous and ashamed, waiting to regain her love”), and how that treatment influenced her own adult interactions.

“I was desperate for her love and very lonely,” she tells us. “I prayed that when I was an adult I would never feel like this again.”

These memories inform her approach to mothering, and her desire to become someone who can love her kids “freely and warmly.” Deutsch acknowledges that she must let go of the past to move forward, a poignant declaration that acts as the narrative transition into pregnancy.

The elation, the nausea, the invasive tests, and the sleepless anxiety of carrying a child are portrayed with refreshing candour, but even more generous are Deutsch’s visual depictions of the loss of identity motherhood inevitably brings. As Deutsch moves into a new version of herself she asks, “who was left? I didn’t even know her.” Images that capture birth and the sublime intimacy of mother and child are the most moving. “She was perfect—like falling snow before it touches your fingers,” Deutsch writes of her new baby daughter.

Detail from The Mother.

The success of The Mother lies in Deutsch’s ability to reflect the universal through the intensely personal, articulating the finer details of pregnancy and motherhood that often go unsaid, but so desperately need to be heard. She also addresses the relentless onslaught of questions that exist on the precipice of motherhood – what kind of mother will I be, what kind of child will I have?

This graphic memoir is a humorous and remarkably honest account of how pregnancy and early motherhood put a strain on your relationships, mental health, and sense of identity. It doesn’t shy away from revealing the isolation, lack of help, and overwhelming feeling of missing “the old you” experienced by a mother. But while honest about the hardships, the book is also a celebration of motherhood’s inherent power and transcendent joy.

“I had just created life,” Deutsch writes. “So I was now magic.”