I THINK EVERY generation of Canadian parents has experienced a particular, creeping Americanism rising up in their children’s generation, to which they can either give in or offer resistance. When I was growing up, Mum/Mom was still producing a lot of static among a certain, conscientiously Canadian social set. I never got worked up about the distinction, partly because I always referred to my own mother as Mom, and partly because “Mum” is not so much an in-the-bone Canadianism as it is what the Dictionary of Canadianisms on Historical Principles calls a “preservation”—in other words, something that came over with the British, and survived despite the Americans.

However, I am (some might argue, arbitrarily) fanatic about drilling in to my progeny that, in this country, goddammit, we say grade one, grade two, and grade three, rather than first grade, second grade, and third grade. For some reason that I can’t quite explain, this is the hill I am planting my maple leaf and dying on, like a grade-A obsessive (but not, importantly, an Ath-grade obsessive).

I’ve yet to come across a satisfactory explanation for why we say it the way we do and not the American way—this is one of those cases where, if Canadian bilingualism had any influence, it should be to nudge us towards the American style, as the French première année, deuxième année, and troisième année are much more like the Yankee construction. But this one is a really, really big deal; according to the Dictionary of Canadianisms on Historical Principles, “the difference between grade one and first grade is the most profound lexical difference in one study of Canada and US terms . . ., with 87 percent of Canadians reporting the former, but 98 percent of Americans reporting the latter”!

Insufficiently patriotic screenwriters are making Canadian characters say things like “I’m in ninth grade” so their shows have a better chance of selling in the States. This is understandable given economic pressures, but must be resisted! It seems small, but that’s what makes it so easy to lose, and therefore so important to hold on to. I submit that the Barenaked Ladies tune is classic Canadiana precisely because it was him in grade nine.

Charles Demers is a stand-up comedian, author, playwright, speechwriter, and voice actor, who has appeared on CBC radio’s The Debaters and recorded the Juno-nominated stand-up album Fatherland. He is the author of three plays and seven books, including Property Values, The Dad Dialogues, and the Doctor Annick Boudreau mystery series, and is editor-curator of the Robin’s Egg Books imprint at Arsenal Pulp Press.

Charles Demers (Joshua Berson)

Excerpted from The Eh Team: A Celebration of Canadianisms from Elbows Up to Poutine by Charles Demers, with foreword by Dakota Ray Hebert. Copyright © 2025 by Charles Demers. Published by Greystone Books. Reproduced by arrangement with the publisher. All rights reserved.

The Eh Team: A Celebration of Canadianisms from Elbows Up to Poutine publishes on Nov. 4.