Illustration by A G Duffy

Dear Agony Editor,

I asked a writer whose work I admire to blurb my upcoming novel. He kindly agreed, but what he sent back was so boring and generic, I wonder if he even read the book. I don’t want to use the blurb. Am I obligated, considering I asked him?

Signed,

Blurb Blues

Dear Blurb Blues,

Your situation is a good reminder of one of life’s time-honoured lessons: Throw a boomerang into the air and what might come back is a mushy banana – that hits you in the face. In other words, put something out into the world and there’s no telling what you’ll get in return.

Hopefully, most writers understand the purpose of blurbs, which is to sway a reader to buy another writer’s book. It’s too bad that what you got back wasn’t what you were hoping for. But is the blurb really that bad? Or is your ego a bit hurt? 

You could always go back to the author and suggest he consider adding a descriptive word or two, like “riveting,” “masterpiece” or “sure-fire Giller winner.” Or you could tell a lie and say that his blurb mirrors another blurb too closely and ask whether he can come at it from a different angle. Better yet, why not suggest you write it for him to approve? 

If you don’t feel comfortable with any of those options, speak with your publisher. They might agree to help you out by taking the blame. (“My publisher forgot to add your blurb. I’m so annoyed!”) 

If that doesn’t work, you should try to use the blurb in some way. It doesn’t need to go in a prominent place, like on the book’s back cover. Consider adding it to the publisher’s webpage. Or include it on an interior page of your book. The bottom line is that while his lacklustre blurb may not be instrumental in helping you sell copies, it shouldn’t deter sales, either. 

Many writers, at one time or another, are on the receiving end of a blurb they wish was a little more sincere, a little less cliché, a little more rapturous. Try not to take it personally, thank the author for his time, and keep this experience in mind the next time you’re on the receiving end of a blurb request yourself.