Pay Attention

One of the greatest teachings I received in psychiatric nursing school was to pay attention. This teaching literally saved my life, on more than one occasion, when I was working in acute psychiatry. It also supports me in my writing. Every day, wherever I go, or whatever is happening, I do my best to Pay Attention, to notice the subtleties of people, places, conversations, nature, and all living beings.

In 2015, I was providing trauma training to the staff and parents of the Future 4 Nations Aboriginal Head Start preschool program in Mission, BC. At lunchtime, the children joined us, and as you can imagine, when thirty preschoolers streamed into the room, the whole energy changed. But I noticed one little guy who stood by the door, looking around, his temperament a bit more cautious than the others.

Then I saw him lock eyes with his Kookum and run right over to her. She took his face in her hands and looked at him with so much love that his whole body changed. I saw his heart fill with happiness. It made me think about what fills my heart with happiness. I kept thinking about it on my ferry ride home, and on and off for a couple of weeks.

Then, one day, I was in a meeting, and my imagination began to wander. A whole book came to me. That book was My Heart Fills with Happiness; not a single word has changed. I am grateful that the book was illustrated by the incredible Julie Flett and published by Orca Books in 2016.

That little book has taken on a life of its own. It has gone places and been in more classrooms, libraries, and homes than I could have ever imagined. I have read My Heart Fills with Happiness in well over a hundred classes across Canada and the  United States, and after reading, I always do a circle with the children, asking them to share what fills their hearts with happiness. Their responses are always about relationships—the people and animals they love. Sure, some examples include a bicycle, a video game, or a movie, but those are always in relation to doing the activity with someone they love. I am constantly reminded of the importance of our presence in children’s lives, not the presents. This also extends beyond children. I know for me, it is my relationships, including my relationship with myself, that support me in feeling happiness.

If I had not been paying attention that day when the children rushed in, I would’ve missed that beautiful moment between grandmother and grandson. I would’ve missed the spark that became what is truly one of my favourite books I’ve written.

So, my invitation to you is to Pay Attention.

Monique Gray Smith (Centric Photography)