Dear Agony Editor,

The other day, I experienced what many writers might consider the Holy Grail: I spotted someone reading my novel on the subway. I thought about introducing myself, but my nerves got the better of me. Also, I wasn’t sure it would be welcomed. Since then, I’ve had regrets. Do you think it’s appropriate for a writer to approach someone reading their book?

Signed,

Spotted

Dear Spotted,

Congratulations! Seeing an actual reader engaged with your book is as rare as an author coherently describing their current work-in-progress. I hope you enjoyed the moment for what it was – a gift that many writers never experience. 

To answer your question about whether you should have approached your reader, I think there are a couple of factors to consider. The first is that, while you might want to connect with a reader, a reader might not want to connect with you. Reading is a personal experience, after all, and there’s no way to gauge how a reader is responding to the work. On the flip side, personal connections are one of the best ways to ensure an ongoing relationship with your work and your readers. No doubt that moment of introduction would be one the reader would always remember – and associate with your book.

Out of curiosity, I conducted a highly unscientific survey and asked readers: If you were in a similar situation, would you like it if an author introduced themselves? Every single person – except for one – said “yes.” So chances are you wouldn’t have been shunned. 

For my own personal take: I think we live in an age where many of us feel the need to capture all our special moments, whether sharing photographs on social media, telling others, or even writing about them. But there’s something to be said about keeping a personal moment just to yourself. No sharing, no video, no written record. Just a moment that lives on in your memory alone.

For me, that’s what’s most important about that experience on the subway. It was a moment not for the reader, but for you, the writer, to see your work (hopefully) being enjoyed. I can’t think of a better memory to tuck away and revisit whenever you feel the need for it.